Saturday, March 31, 2018

story ideas for elmandria

i need somewhere to get these ideas out of my head, might as well use my blog.

quick rundown before you read my thoughts, random reader: elmandria was the kingdom that existed a thousand years before eelry, and ended with the collapse of orod nost onto king parzival. eelry is dead and gone, but elmandria may come back. with that said, eelry might just be an alternate universe a la MCU versus the comics.
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idea 1) it's been a thousand years. elmandria is nothing more than ruins, but the ghods come forth and channel their power to renew the land. they remove the stones that once were, and leave the kingdom lush and overtaken by nature. one day a fierce storm crashes, and in the aftermath a man lies still within the grasses.

idea 2) the king and queen fight their way back to the mortal plane, but it's not how they left it. everything is gone now, all the people moved on or died. in the time it takes to rebuild there is chaos and strife, and the queen leaves for good. the king, heartbroken and alone, is joined by his trusted advisor as he loses the heart to keep the new kingdom going.

idea 3) somehow through the magic of fleshing shit out via lots of backstory, the king comes back to earth, alone. the queen died or chose to stay behind. king enlists help of vampire buddy to rebuild the kingdom.

idea 4) vampire advisor does super mystical ritual to summon the king and queen, almost dies in the process. ritual isn't quite enough and only the king comes back. they try again after a short time to summon the queen, a ghod intervenes and says no, she moved on or whatever and can't come back. instead must follow divine edict to bring the kingdom back.

the warrior and the goddess

this post has nothing to do with my concubine arc. this is a one shot, written for someone dear to me.
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the warrior sighed heavily as he paused in his journey. it had been long and arduous in his advancing age, but he knew the destination was finally growing near. so much time had passed when he had begun this quest that he almost couldn't remember when he had started, but it was winter now. his bones protested with pops and clicks as he shifted in his armor, sighing into the frosty air.

fat snowflakes fell past his nose, and with a shiver he adjusted the cowl up over the lower half of his face to protect it. picking up the rusty blade he had jabbed into the drifts building up past his knees, he continued trudging onward. it wouldn't do to keep her waiting, regardless of how long the trip actually was. he knew tarrying too long would be bad, though slowness was acceptable.

time wheeled endlessly, day to night to day. by the time he reached the sacred grove, he would have sworn he had aged another ten years in the process. it was hard to say really, all he knew was the rise and set of the fiery ball in the sky. as he passed under the flowery archway into the eternal spring of the magical place, he felt the snow fall from him and melt away into nothing.

instead of water sliding down his skin and irking him, the snow merely faded from existence. a faint smile touched his face as he regarded this, knowing it was the will of the divine one who's presence he had sought here. stepping carefully towards the tree in the center, he was amazed once again by the ethereal beauty of the place.

flowers, plants, trees, every kind of animal he had ever thought of roamed here freely and in peace, there were never any quarrels and no other people for that matter. he knew that he was not the only one to petition the divine one, but he seemed to be the sole human who came back over and over again over the decades.

when he came within ten feet of the tree, he saw her. she stepped into being as effortlessly as water sliding over stone, and her form glowed bright with the energy of her kind. had he been younger he would have wept with the sight of her beauty, but she had chastised him for doing so in the past. the memory made him chuckle softly, but she appeared to not have heard him as she regarded his form.

after a few moments she beckoned to him, and he made his way forward and collapsed at her feet. the gentle pressure on his skull told him she rested her hand on it, and he heard her sigh. "back again, erik," she mused, humming softly. her gaze wasn't on him, rather roaming over her grove for a moment before sealing the entrance and then looking down at the warrior.

"yes," he murmured at length, overwhelmed with her scent. he did not need to speak further, she would know why he had come. she always knew, since she was not an earthly being she possessed the ability to look into the hearts of man and know every secret they kept within them. instead he waited quietly, drinking in her presence and her touch.

with a petting motion on his head she moved her hand away, then sat down on the roots of the tree next to him. the tree graciously gave her room, shifting the wood so she would not be uncomfortable underneath the leaves. her eyes took him in, the rusted armor that was flaking away in places, the ruined sword on his back, the wrinkles on his face.

"time has not been kind to you, my warrior," she observed, and he chortled in response as she had always been very direct in her words. "indeed," he quipped before sighing. "i have fought many wars in the changing lands, and i don't even remember how it used to be now." she nodded as she listened, the birds chirping nearby.

although he did not linger on her long, he noticed that she was still vibrant and full of life, as young in appearance as she had been when he had first come to this place. part of him wondered if she was ageless, and another part of him posited that she was using magic to conceal her true age. "you're partially right," she said, answering his thoughts.

erik looked over at her, startled. "time runs differently here," she explained, smiling. "for you it has been over thirty years since you first came to me, while for me it has only been a few months." his eyes grew wide at this, and he wondered if he would faint at his proclamation. she laughed then, the silvery bells of her voice pealing throughout the grove and filling with with humor and peace.

she sobered then, and he felt something shift in the air. with that she stood up, looking around before sighing. a few odd words fell from her lips, and they seemed to crackle and spark in the air before forming a glowing portal. erik had to throw an arm over his eyes to save his vision, until the shadow of the goddess fell upon him and he lowered the limb to look up at her.

her eyes seemed to be a mixture of happiness and sadness as she peered down at him, resting peacefully on the grass. "your time has come, erik," she said, and her voice seemed filled with thunder, echoing beyond his perception as her true power came forth. she held a hand out to him as lightning flashed around her, striking the earth at random intervals while the grove darkened to nightfall.

"you have a choice," she continued. "come with me and serve me at my knee for time eternal, or remain here and be buried by your people when they find this place."

erik thought about it for a few long moments. his life had been plentiful, he had seen war and famine, peace and bounty. his children had children and children beyond, his descendants were ready for the new world. his body was old and failing, likely to give out soon. when his goddess left this plane he would be utterly alone, and as she announced, dead soon. the decision was easy.

"i will come with you," he murmured simply, taking her hand. she grinned at him, yanking him upwards. he gave a yelp of surprise, then looked astonished as his body felt a lot lighter. looking down he nearly fell over in shock, causing the divine woman to bend over laughing at his reaction. "it's just your new form, silly," she said, then gestured for him to follow. "i'll tell you all about it on the other side."

his bewilderment showed, since he was now glowing like she was, but his armor was smaller and shiny new, his body youthful and exuberant. his sword vibrated with power, looking as though it had only been forged that morning. the goddess didn't look back as she stepped through the portal, and he followed closely after her, excited for the new adventures he was going to partake in.

as the portal closed the grove faded away into nothing, leaving only a barren wasteland. the tree withered and died, all the leaves falling and rotting away. at its base was the body of a man, clutching a sword to him as it sat in rest or contemplation. the body turned to stone, and rust fell away from the metal as his armor and weapon joined it.

those who came near it seemed confused by this statue, but even more so that sheltered under the stone gaze was a single rose, and those who drew close all swore the same thing: that a voice whispered this was a promise that one day the warrior and his goddess would return when they were needed to help save humanity.

Tuesday, March 27, 2018

the power of music

i've loved listening to music for as long as i can remember. my mom said when she was pregnant with me she listened to ozzy osbourne a lot, and when i was a baby the only thing that put me to sleep was "goodbye to romance" being played near my crib. it's still one of my favorite songs, and i continued the tradition with my daughter. my husband and i would play "dreamer" by ozzy and sing it to her as an infant, and it would put her right to sleep.

nearly all of my childhood memories that i still have, involve music. singing, either with my mom, or friends, or girl scouts. music when i was happy. sad. angry. suicidal. every emotion is covered in music, and it has been the biggest healer for me and my mind.

when i struggled as a teen in therapy, i turned to music for help. it was a very long time before i discovered the term music therapy, but it's something i've been doing for about sixteen years or so. no matter how i feel, there's a song out there that i can relate to and feel better with. the artists that scream and cry and roar out my pain, my emotions, it was the best way for me to cope. they said what i couldn't, and it showed me that i wasn't alone.

in fact the biggest influence on me musically was linkin park. chester bennington had a way with words, and no matter how bad i felt, he was there for me. singing about his pain, struggling to break free and fight back the demons keeping us awake at night. i was devastated when i learned of his death, because he had been there for me in an intimate way nobody else had ever been.

when i confirmed that his suicide was real, i went to the internet. using a combination of google and my music program for DJing, i downloaded every studio album linkin park had ever done, up to one more light. i still listen to the band religiously, singing along to my favorite songs like numb, one more light, waiting for the end, points of authority, crawling, and several others.

music has helped give me the strength to fight back, to get the ability to keep going when i didn't want to. music is my therapy, my confidante, my lover, my friend. music is everything to me.

there is power in music. there are countless tracks i have listened to where i get goosebumps, when i feel my hair stand on end and run down my body like lightning. i had to look up what ASMR was to understand that's what i've been experiencing. wearing a style of fitbit shows music affects my heart rate, and that i can be left breathless and jittery after a particularly poignant aria.

every song has energy, good and bad. every song has a heart, and it beats within me.

Friday, March 23, 2018

the concubine, part 3

part two 
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his touch was electric as it ran over her body. he was careful to limit his hand to places that would not spook her too much, so he rubbed it over her side, her arm, her thigh, her belly. innocent locations that wouldn't make her run away from him. she was quiet under his ministrations, her gaze upwards as she studied the roof of the tent.

"inanna," he murmured. her scrutiny shifted to his face. "do you know what it means to be owned?" she shook her head, but the intake of breath suggested that the question made her uneasy. he smirked as he danced his fingertips over her navel before resting his hand on her hip. "it means i can do whatever i want with you, and nobody will question it."

as she began to rise to flee, he pressed a palm on her chest and pushed her back down with a chuckle. "easy, easy now," he allayed her, and her fearful eyes bore into his. "i will not mistreat you, inanna. you will be well taken care of here." she swallowed in response to his words, and her pink tongue darted out to moisten her suddenly dry lips.

he could see the question forming on her lips, and he decided to let her ask it. she swallowed again before she asked, "who... who are you? are you a lord?" he could tell she was hesitant to use his name, and she was clearly one who had been trained in the ways of court. a low rumble emanated from his chest, and it was a quiet laughter as she amused him.

"ah, yes. my title," he replied flippantly, running his hand up her side before sliding it back down to her hip. she shivered at the motion, but she hadn't tried squirming out from under him yet. "i told you my name, but i left out my rank," he continued, his eyes dancing while he regarded her. she nodded, and she nibbled on her lower lip out of anxiety.

he had half a mind to tell her to stop that, but it would be easier to simply tell her the truth. "i am jhaeros faemyar, king of laelorian." her eyes grew wide at his declaration, and the shock must have registered in more than just her face, as he shifted to steady her with a palm on her belly. he smiled down at her then, noticing that she had in fact stopped chewing on her lip.

the sudden movement of her body alerted him, and he increased the pressure on her to prevent her from rising again. "no need to bow, curtsy, or otherwise kowtow to me," he said, his tone shifting to a mild annoyance. inanna glanced at him, not understanding. he sighed, realizing that she didn't quite understand her unique position within his kingdom.

"you are not a servant, nor a noble, or a slave," he began, and he observed the emotions as they played over her features. "you hold no title, but you are of a status that is known to all who enter my kingdom and my castle." since she was still not understanding what he was trying to explain to her, he had to smother a sudden bout of laughter. was she really so clueless?

"you are my concubine."

several seconds passed before he saw realization dawn on her, and the look on her face was so priceless he actually did burst out laughing. because he was so busy chortling, he didn't notice that he had let go of her, and that she had sat up, eyes snapping with amethyst fire. he did notice when she slapped him across the face, as rage erupted into being and he let out a snarl that reverberated throughout the tent.

he turned slowly back to face her, his hand going up to touch the stinging red mark on his face. no one had ever dared to strike their king before and lived to talk about it, and he worked his jaw while struggling to keep a rein on his temper. she matched his expression, rising to his anger with her own, and he sensed her drawing from the steel within her spine.

"i will never be your whore," she hissed, staring him down in a clear challenge.

"you don't have a choice," he growled back, his voice low and heavy as he answered it. "i own you."

"never!" she shot back, and leapt to her feet. he jumped to his own, ready to battle. she snarled at him, her lilting pipes shifting slightly to accommodate the shifting vocals.  he arched an eyebrow, then snarled back, his sounding more like the low roar of a dragon. she was not swayed by his show of power, and instead she shrieked at him.

at first he thought she was just making noise, before he noticed she was actually throwing words at him in elvish, very rapidly and too fast for him to keep track and translate. it was when sparks began flickering into being around her fingers that he realized what she was doing. damn! he thought to himself. this little vixen knows magic!

just as she had conjured fireballs into being and shifted into a stance to throw them at his head, he whipped an arm towards her and spoke a single word in a demonic tongue. a sudden cloud of darkness surrounded her, and after a few moments it dissipated. when it did so, the fire that had filled her palms faded away, and she swayed.

rushing forwards he caught her as she fell, and she was completely limp within his arms. oops, he thought. must have been too strong for her. now he was in a bit of a conundrum as he rested on a knee, her body awkwardly held in his grasp. looking around the tent, he mentally ran through different ideas on how to wake her back up when she began to stir.

his eyes bore down on her as her own opened, and she was dazed. when she could focus her vision and spotted him, she angrily tried to wrestle free. he growled at her as he rose onto his feet to try and pin her body against him, but she was like a wildcat, spitting and hissing while she flailed wildly. she scratched his arms several times, and his body endured the kicks from her feet as she fought the embrace.

bringing her in close he managed to get her to stop hitting him, but she bit him so hard he cried out in pain, swearing profusely as he swatted at her in retaliation. she flung her head backwards and landed a blow on his nose, and he let go of her, staggering backwards with his hands over the throbbing body part to check if it was broken.

a quick assessment showed that it was merely tender, no broken bones and no blood. he straightened then, glaring murderously at the defiant elf while his aura broke free of his shields and surrounded him, a miasma ready to put down the foe that dared to challenge him. she didn't back down, and he had to give her credit for standing up to him at the risk of her life.

sparks snapped around her fists, and tendrils of flame coiled up her arms as she returned the glare. "stop this madness," he growled at her, but she merely tossed her head like a wild mare. with a snort, she spat a few words of elvish at him, then threw a new fireball at his head. he stepped out of its path easily, and he circled her. inanna tossed a few more his way, assessing his skills.

unfortunately, she had not paid attention to her surroundings, and he had. with a roar he rushed at her, catching her completely off guard. the fireballs disappeared from existence as he hit her like a freight train, and she grunted as the impact knocked the wind out of her. he knocked her down onto the bed, and her skull bounced off one of the pillows. 

"enough," he panted, now lying prone over her body, and he remembered that both of them were nude. this was coupled with the fact that because he had tackled her to the bedspread, her form was now molded against his in a way that arrested his attention, and heat began to trickle down to his loins. inanna made a sound of protest, and headbutted him weakly.

his eyes snapped up to hers, anger filling him again, but he read defeat in her gaze and let the action slide. "i refuse to be the whore of a king," she whispered, and a tear slid down her cheek. he shifted his weight and wiped the fluid from her skin, and he sighed heavily. so this was why she had decided to resist him so fiercely. her pride must stem from her self worth, he reasoned.

"inanna, i assure you that you will have a good life here," he murmured softly, and she made a sound of despair as she choked out a laugh bordering on a sob. "at the expense of my body," she replied, her tone so full of sadness it seized his heart in a way that seemed to plead with his soul. "is that such a terrible price to pay?" he whispered, cupping a palm on her cheek and willing her to look at him.

she did, another tear escaping and running down her face. "yes, it is," she mumbled, the words so faint they cracked leaving her lips, and from the way she trembled, jhaeros knew she was holding back more sobs. "oh, inanna," he ground out, pulling her into an embrace and holding her close. he rose into a sitting position with her reclined in his lap, and just let her quiet against him.

she sniffled, but the deluge of tears didn't come since he had calmed her. he leaned back enough to cup both of his hands around her face, and she looked up at him with such a helpless innocence that he could no longer resist. "i promise i'll be gentle," he whispered, the words like a sibilation in her ear as he brought his head close and kissed her gently.

Thursday, March 22, 2018

the concubine, part 2

read part one here.
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several moments passed in silence, and she trembled as she stood before him. since she could not see any form of circlet, crown, or anything close to it on his brow, she had no idea what his title or rank was. all she knew was that the only thing that moved was his eyes, and she felt completely naked as she watched his gaze slowly travel downward. a laser-like intensity settled on her skin, and she knew the moment he regarded her toes then began sliding his gaze back up.

she didn't notice that his gaze had lingered on her curves, but she did notice when his eyes pierced hers with an intensity that frightened her. too far away to make out what color they were, she could only note that they seemed dark and stormy as she was brooded over. when he finally stood up, her pupils contracted painfully into tiny pinpricks as he paused for a moment, then began descending the dais towards her. if she hadn't been rooted to the spot in terror, she would have fled.

step by step he approached, with a calmness that was maddening to her. the heavy thud of his footfalls proclaimed a man sure of his abilities and strength, and her mind took in the fact that he wasn't wearing a shirt. he seemed to be wearing a jacket trimmed in fur over breeches, and over that he had on armor. there was a leather strap buckled to his chest, hinting at a weapon hidden on his back under the coat.

drawing a breath slowly, she gulped nervously as he stopped in front of her. she was not short by any means, and was on actually on the tall side for an elf, but he loomed over her frame. as her head tilted up involuntarily to take in his overwhelming presence, her nose filled with the scent of leather and heat. her eyebrows twitched slightly as her brain processed this bit of information. heat? as her stunned senses scrambled to keep up, she realized that body heat radiated from him like a furnace.

she also realized that this entire time, aside from the initial command he hadn't said a word. a roaring filled her ears as her pulse kicked up again, and she felt a strange sensation within her skull which was actually the warning sign she was going to faint dead away. seeming to spot this, he moved his right hand upwards, and her gaze shot to it as though she expected him to be holding a sword to lop her head off with.

"breathe," he said, his voice soft. with a start she exhaled abruptly, then began hyperventilating. he made a calming motion with his hand, and there was a sense of something surrounding her like a blanket, or perhaps an embrace. "i'm not going to hurt you," he continued, his voice a pleasant rumble that sounded like it was coming from his chest rather than his throat.

his words had the desired effect on her, and slowly her breathing began to even out. he watched her as she trembled less, but he noted she was still very much afraid of him. fear rolled off of her in waves, and he had the strange desire to hold her close and reassure her that she was safe, here, now, with him in his castle. it was an odd feeling, and it put him on guard. was this a witch sent to enchant him?

his eyes narrowed as he studied the quivering elf. no, this wasn't a witch, he reasoned. a witch would be much more confident in their abilities to try and assassinate him, or at least be trying harder to appear as innocent as a babe. this was a genuinely frightened woman, who had no idea why she was here and hadn't the slightest notion of who he was.

his lips curved in a smile, as it occurred to him that since she didn't know anything about him, he would be able to have his fun without her knowing his reputation. she wouldn't try to seduce him into a rank of power, and she wouldn't try to slit his throat to gain the throne. this was a good thing. a very good thing. his guardsmen had finally found someone quite ideal to him, and gods willing he would be able to enjoy every bit of her without having to sleep with one eye open.

of course, since she wasn't a mind reader, she had no idea why he was smiling at her like that, and she shrank away from him. he shook his head lightly to clear it, and his face resumed his stony expression. her eyes were wide as she looked up at him, and they were bright with unshed tears. he felt a slight tugging on his heart as he regarded this, and he wondered just how innocent this woman truly was. with that, he gestured for her to follow him.

"come," he commanded simply, and turned around and began walking away. confused now, she followed as he led her through a dizzying maze of corridors until eventually they stopped before a large pair of doors. a nearby guard grunted as he pushed it open, and with that the man casually walked through the doorway as though the other wasn't there at all. trailing in his wake, she realized they were now outside. she shivered as a breeze caressed her skin, as she wasn't used to being exposed to the elements in such little clothing.

together they meandered through the grounds until surely hours must have passed. eventually they came upon a camp, with cliffs and a nearby brook. her attention was diverted for a moment, so she didn't see the enormous red tent shot through with gold and black until he reached for her and pulled her inside. stumbling a little bit, she looked down at her bare feet to spot the culprit, and in so doing didn't notice she was being led towards a large, circular bed with pillows thrown about in the back.

in fact, she didn't spot the bed until a tugging on her hand brought her head up from the carpet, and though she immediately turned to flee, the hand holding hers didn't let go. this caused her to pause, and she turned to look back at the man. his face was unreadable, but she could now tell what color his eyes were. they were a beautiful shade of silver, and in the torchlight seemed to shift between light glinting on steel and darkest storm clouds.

he seemed to be waiting for her action, and his grip was gentle on her hand. a slow trembling began making its way over her body from tip to tail, but she took a step back towards him. then another, and another. he carefully pulled her arm forward and past him, then used his other hand to lightly push on her lower back in the direction of the pillows. as she stepped up she felt the pressure increase, but she knew that he was merely supporting her in case she stumbled.

the sensation of walking on the bed was strange under her feet, but she calmly strode over to where a rug had been tossed on top of the linens, and paused to see what she would be needed to do next. when he didn't join her she almost turned around, but a slight sound reaching her tipped ears clued her in as to why. if she didn't know any better, she would have sworn she had heard the sound of shifting cloth, and a quiet thump as though something like a jacket or maybe pants were dropped on the floor.

her trembling became a little more pronounced, but she held still. she did turn her head to the left, but the curtain of her midnight hair blocked her view and she could not see anything. a few strands stirred in the wake of her breathing, fluttering a bit as thought she was in a cool breeze. the night was mostly calm, and while she could hear the leaves in the trees moving as a slight gust swept by the tent, she was relatively sheltered within it.

because her attention was so focused on the wind, she did not hear him approach her until a hand touched her spine. she jumped, and a soft whisper soothed her. the hand left her back, and cupped her chin. as her head was tilted upwards, she once again looked up into his face. two things happened simultaneously. one, his face seemed a lot softer as he gazed down at her, and two, she realized he was now completely naked.

the shock must have registered in her face, because he smiled slightly at her. without saying a word, he reached behind her neck and unclipped the clasp. as he pulled his arms back, he grabbed the sleeves and pulled them down her arms. as the silks followed the motions, he extended his arms around her waist. the click of the belt being undone was a little louder than the one behind her neck, and that too made its way to the bed.

standing in a pool of her wispy clothing, she was now completely bared to his attention. he then used his fingers to lightly push her backwards, and she obeyed with a hint of confusion on her face. he then bent down, picked up her silks and her belt and her sleeves, and tossed them away into a random location within the tent. as he shifted back to face her once again, she felt a fissure of fear sluice down her spine.

a few moments passed as they simply stared at each other. when he reached out to touch her cheek she shied away slightly, but his touch was that of a butterfly landing on a flower when he asked her a question. "what is your name?" he asked, his words soft. she hesitated only a moment before responding, her tone pitched to match his. "inanna," she murmured. "inanna akaelyn."

"inanna," he repeated, his voice husky. "i am jhaeros faemyar, and i am the man who now owns you."

inanna shivered at the implication of those words, but he did not elaborate. instead, he used his arms to push her down onto the rug on the bed, then lay down beside her. she was on her back, and he propped himself up on an elbow while staring down at her, and he couldn't resist reaching out and caressing her soft, supple skin. yes, this one is going to be perfect for me, he thought to himself.

Tuesday, March 20, 2018

a rez day

something that's unique to the culture of second life is the celebration of a "rez day." that's the day you appear in the grid for the first time after you create your account, and it's logged in your profile. it's essentially a birthday, since your avatar was "born" when you logged in for the first time. everyone has one, and when the date rolls around again, you get a "rez day" which is the same as a birthday irl.

by the time i found out this was a thing, my first rez day had already passed. i was given belated gifts to compensate for this as i was deeply disappointed, it seemed like a lot of fun celebrating one. so i was determined to make my second rez day a memorable one, and i plotted for months.

 the first thing i did was whip out a pool and make it as large as possible. then i added some torches for lighting on the corners, and then tossed in some toys and floaties to hang out in. i snapped this photo while chilling in one to emphasize the scale of it all.
 i spent probably an hour or two just floating in this pool while i thought about the next day. what songs i was going to play, who was going to come, and whether or not people would like my hidden surprise. i was real keyed up and more than a little anxious about it succeeding.
 and then, it was happening! i activated my hidden balloon and confetti rezzer, and everyone had a blast playing and dancing in my pool for the party. so much attention was lavished on me i almost didn't know what to do. everyone kept giving me money as presents!
i ended up picking up my balloon dropper after my set was over, but when lestat came in to play, bryan put out some of his own balloons as we continued the celebration for another two hours. he ended up teleporting in his entire clan, which meant no one else could join us and wish me a happy rez day. probably wouldn't have been so bad if they hadn't ignored all of us.

this year though, i didn't want to be fussed over. i mean, it's nice, but after about five minutes it gets aggravating. i told penalt not to tell io about my rez day because i wanted to be left alone. i did get my wish, but i also did something different this year.

this year, i had someone to spend it with. so for about four hours, he and i roleplayed back and forth while i was bound to my hearts like a present for him to unwrap. nothing beats a wonderful scene that closes with "Happy Rez Day love." it was also doubly wonderful because parzi and i got to spend some much-needed time together. life sank its claws into both of us, so we haven't been able to hang out for a little while. the last time we were in the middle of a scene, we had to stop because he had to get up early for work.

real life can be such a pain in the butt, making it so people can't roleplay all night together. lol

this time was also different for another reason.

not only did i get a nice roleplay for my rez day, but i also actually said the words "i love you" to parzi. he already knew how i feel about him because i had told him that i'm in love with him, but it's quite another thing entirely to actually say the words. and nothing puts you on cloud nine faster than seeing "i love you too" cross your screen in response.

Monday, March 19, 2018

memories of eelry

so i was browsing through my sl feed looking for photos from last year for an entry, when i discovered i had taken photos while in the kingdom of eelry. so now i share them with you, dear reader. let's take a walk down memory lane together.

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this was my first official day in the kingdom of eelry, when the king and queen were being coronated. of course, mayor clara of rosewater had other ideas.
she stood before the royal pair, defying them and casting a curse. during the day king parzival was to be a dog, and queen obsidian normal, but at night she was a cat and he was normal.
with the spell in place, king parzival immediately took on his new form, a harmless little puppy. needless to say the queen was furious about it.
 i had fun with a little skull prop i had from opening a random item, so i decided to pose with it within the druid home, an area all druids were to live in.
 i stumbled upon this field at random while exploring eelry, and found it hysterically funny.
 my brother coy had also joined eelry, and we had a little fun dancing in the mead hall late at night. we enjoyed goofing off, it was a fun bonding experience.
 this is ilaria bane, a mage who was also a teacher within eelry. she and her twin sister ilsyia made many interesting paths in eelry, especially when ilaria became regent.
 this was either my first or my second encounter with the great white dragon, a being burdened with a legion of souls and driven into madness. the woman in white is clara, and the man in red was john i believe. john or arnorian.
 this was a closeup of the mighty dragon and the chains that were tangled in her horns.
 i snapped this selfie lounging in the throne within jaegen fenris' tent, goofing off because i was 99% certain i wasn't supposed to be sitting in it. amazing what you can get away with when no one is around lol
jaegen and i roleplayed a bath scene that ended up sexual in his tent within the bog in eelry.
 i had some fun snapping some silly/eerie selfies in the druid home when i was alone, i was making plans to have my character go insane so i played with my appearance to that effect.
while i did enjoy the glowing eyes, this was also just before i got a mesh head because i looked absolutely ridiculous at this point.
and just for fun i took a selfie while wearing my hollow ichigo mask in the druid home.

 this was a shot i had taken of mayor clara of rosewater while we were roleplaying with alexander/sincere.
 and this was a closeup of her face as i thought she was very beautiful.
 when i took this photo i was feeling lonely, so i figured that examining my reflection within a pool in eelry was quite fitting.
 this was a random fountain i had found and liked within eelry, so i took a photo of it.
 this is zephia, who ran the spa within eelry for a short amount of time. unfortunately she took in character actions personally, and ended up leaving. in hindsight, the white angel tested all of our mettle with petty shit.
 this was the remains of clara of rosewater, mayor of eelry after she defied the king one too many times and met a violent end. her remains were burned to prevent her from resurrecting herself.
 and then the white angel came. most of us figured she was clara reborn, but we never got the chance to find out.
 after i had gone insane, i liked to explore eelry and try things out. i found this scrying bowl and decided to take a photo while i was messing with it.
and this was the last photo i took in eelry. this is the spirit that killed me after i pissed it off.

Wednesday, March 7, 2018

lil miss thang+other stuff

so, the first part of this entry will be in response to io's post here. she touched on someone i've decided to dub hypnocunt. (btw spitfire if you have a thing set where my posts notify you, totally not sorry about any beverages sprayed out your nose.) basically back in december hypnocunt tried to hypnotize me against my will for whatever reason, but what the dumbass didn't take into account is 1) reading text on a page will not do that to me, you dumb fucking nut, 2) it was very easy to ignore said wall of boring-ass text, 3) i spent twenty minutes browsing the marketplace waiting for her to shut the fuck up.

i kept quiet about it for a little while, until there was a convenient reason for me to bring it up in reference to the other shit she's been pulling. i'm fairly certain she's on her way out, but since i don't stick around that place unless i'm spinning tunes, i wouldn't know for sure. nor do i actually care, but since she likes to fuck with my waifu, you can bet your ass i'm gonna start poking the bear. just in my weird way which means sass, snark, and spying because i have no life.

i was part of their discord server for a while, but i left it because it was just a giant circle-jerk of hypnocunt and her brainwashed puppets. no, i'm not using that word lightly. i mean brainwashed because these poor souls have been hypnotized into mindless drones that have less free will than the entire collective. i'm pretty sure io was the one who mentioned she's jealous that io squeals with delight when her owner comes on, and i fired back with "that's because you're treated like something wonderful and precious, not a sack of dog crap." (disclaimer: that's a paraphrase as i don't remember exactly what i said and i'm too lazy to go find the chat log.)

either way, when someone treats their pets poorly, they will not be greeted with enthusiasm, nor will they come happily when called. hypnocunt just uses what she's dubbed as her toys, and doesn't get why they keep breaking. news flash: treat them like people, you fucking fuck.

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spitfire's been in a dark place lately. i was voluntold to help her to keep her in the here and now, but i gave my standard "i'm pretending to agree with you so you'll fuck off" response and didn't reach out. not that i don't care about spitfire, because i do, with her as my metamour and as my friend i care a lot about her, but i have not been in the mindset to help anyone aside from professionally.

and i'm sorry spifi. i'm sorry that when i should have reached out to you, that i shrank away instead and let io take the fallout. i just have not been able to be.. me. the me you both know and love. the vibrant trickster, silver-tongued and always up for mischief. the me you know. not the me i've become as of late. and i hate it.

bryan left today for a week-long trip, and i'm his hostess backup. so, naturally, because i haven't been to sleep yet as of this posting, that's not going well and it hasn't even been a day yet. i warned bryan i would do my best to step in, but with everything that's been going on, the best i can do is send out his notices. so i guess at least there's that. i even told him i would probably miss shifts, and he reassured me to just do what i can. he's so awesome about that.

i don't even know if i can really talk about what's going on. i've just been so incredibly stressed out from college that i am doing everything in my power just to hang on to what little bits of control i have left. and to be honest that's all i'm gonna say about this because i absolutely DO NOT want to be pestered about it. i don't want to be imed asking me if i'm okay, what's going on, can you do blah blah. i won't be able to handle it.

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for those of you who read concubine part 1, i am working on part two, i just got a little bit stuck and with my mood being shit lately i haven't really worked on it. i'm most of the way through the chapter, just fleshing out more scenes and getting to a good word length before starting on chapter three. i don't really have an overall plot or story in mind, i'm just typing what comes to me and pushing out a story.

if any of you were curious, or had already figured out, yes i am using my avatar as the basis for the main character. i will try to include one photo per chapter to lend a sense of realness to my story, but in a way that doesn't detract from the fantasy. the king is based off of someone i know, so i am probably going to end up posting photos of him and i for the purposes of my concubine story.

he knows that the character is based off of him, and he doesn't really care about the photos since i don't get a lot of interaction on my blog anyways, lol. but i assure you, dear reader, that i haven't forgotten it. it's sitting in my draft area right now, and when i can i do add to it. just know that there is no set time for when the story will be updated, and there will likely be regular blog entries inbetween so i will link the chapters to make it easier to track.

once i get about five chapters punched out, i will probably edit the older ones with links to the new ones, and adjust the links back out of the newer ones. i don't know if that made a lot of sense but i think you get the idea. anyways, enough rambling.