betrayal

something happened on friday that i'm still not okay with. i'd been shaken to my core over discovering my stalker had been at the show, three seats from me. with everything going on, i was too busy being focused on wrangling dancers and announcing songs to notice. when it was over, i stood up after signing off and turned to find the staff member that was in charge of wrangling people like me, to request that she flip the radio to the correct stream because i didn't have it.

that was when i spotted the gray jelly doll. when my brain registered the name, i completely panicked. i slammed into two inboxes, using an emergency phrase and all caps to get their attentions. one of them bolted to my position, the other one simply told me to ignore him.

yeah. ignore the guy who's been stalking me for three years. awesome. NOT.

i get a teleport request, and i jump on it. i'm shaking so badly i can't move. i can barely tell my husband what was going on, and he held me while i trembled and tried not to cry. i was severely rattled on top of the stress, and i was very close to my breaking point.

i tried to calm down at ymo, watching the others dance and even joining in with a pony at my side.

after a time, i get a surprise message from someone that i know of, but don't actually know. i rarely speak with them, as they are too much for me energy wise and i tend to hide in the shadows when they're around.

they had wanted my full attention, so i paused the music i was playing while stumbling through a set list, and i shifted myself so that they would get it.

and they tried to hypnotize me.

without my consent.

it actually almost worked, which both terrified and angered me. i fought as best as i could, but i realized they'd been described as like the sun for a reason. just when i was slipping under their control for god knows whatever reason, they said something that i found so hysterically funny i felt their grasp shatter on my shields harmlessly.

they'd had me when they said i was part of their pack. but when they called themselves alpha of me, i snapped out of the hypnosis and laughed my ass off. you see, no one is the alpha of me. i run with a chosen equal at my side, but no one is the boss of me.

from there, i watched them continue their mind games while i mentally shored up my defenses. i did not let them know they had failed, i wanted to see what they would do.

after they thought they were successful, they gave me an order. and i felt instant rage. no one tells me what to do. NO. ONE. i ignored their messages while they became unsure of the imaginary hold they had on me.

and the one person who had previously been angry over someone trying to hypnotize without my consent, then messaged me saying they agreed with the order, and to follow it. my rage was so palpable i could taste it.

i logged off before i screamed at either of them.

logging on to discord, my pony made the mistake of being the second echo to the order, and i promptly ripped his head off and shit down his neck.

it was only when i had calmed enough to explain why he was being verbally murdered, he realized his mistake and backed off. so i then took the time to vent for a while, but i was still angry over what had happened.

not one, but two people were completely fine with this person hypnotizing me. the person who had never gained my consent, simply assumed it was given and tried to get inside my head to become their mindless little puppet.

to say i'm angry with them is an understatement.