sing like there's nobody listening

for the last few weeks, my buddy penalt and i have been hanging around second life, being pals and playing around.

this shot was taken around christmas time, when i was just relaxing at my favorite sim and pen was resting in his default spot by my feet. neither of us is sure when it happened exactly, but somehow organically a relaxed d/s relationship grew between us, so now on sl i'm the owner, and he's the subby pony. now i know some people are either clutching their pearls or wondering just exactly how our thing works. the kicker is, we're not sexual. at all. we are strictly platonic and we like it that way, though in theory if something develops we're both willing to see where that goes. but in the interim, we are friends who happen to be in d/s and we goof off and have fun.

 this was closer to christmas itself, and he was showing this beautiful sim that was modeled after greenland. unfortunately it's closed now, but it was such a magical place that felt very peaceful.

 this was taken a couple days ago in a horse sim, i'm the dark one on the left and a draft horse named chaos is on the right. we were joking about our sizes, as i thought i was a big horse until chaos came over to hang out. since pen is under four feet tall, that made him ridiculously tiny in comparison, lol

and this one was taken today, 1/25/18 as we just chill(ed) in his little stable area just talking about things. we're not a 24/7 thing, so here i am free to be a wild mare, and he is free to just be a cute little pony. he wears his bridle at all times should i choose to take his reins, but he also trusts that if i do, i have a reason. when we are not at my favorite sim we are equals, and though he bows to me, i don't think of him as lesser in any way. he's "my little pony" and while i wasn't expecting it, i am fond of him.

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remember how i wrote about ezee here?: http://talesoflifeobservations.blogspot.com/2017/11/out-of-blue-into-night.html

well he resurfaced again, this time to me directly. he did his usual thing of trying to be his best, all charming and sorry and hoping things will be all better. i gave a british response: cool, polite, and not very telling of my true emotions. he begged for my forgiveness, but i didn't give it. i know better, despite how persuasive he was and how he tried so very hard to make me come right on back to him. he's a snake in the grass, and a damn good one, but with the help of friends and therapy, i know to stay distant and stand my ground against him.

i beat him with kindness, i nominated two people to run his group, and based on my word he made them the new staff. of course, i am also training this new staff to run the place based on the standards io, spitfire and i had had, so it's running more smoothly again and there won't be anymore hiccups.

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i also had the absolute pleasure of performing with the purple man group, i was a drummer for their charity concert in december to raise money for cancer, and then earlier this month i joined them again for the whip radio anniversary party.

 that's me, on the blue drums.

 it was a blast! we didn't get any video footage of this concert since it was shorter this time around, but i would still do it again, any time of the week because it was just such a surreal experience. i'd always wanted to see a blue man group performance, and now with the purple man group i can actually be on stage, performing the songs and bringing joy to people. it's a feeling i will never forget for as long as i live.

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lately i have found myself doing something i haven't done since i was a patron of the grinders karaoke club back in 2015 in my first days of second life: singing. it sort of happened spur-of-the-moment, but now people beg to hear my voice. it's both intimidating and flattering, i suppose. when i sang at grinders i was very nervous, but that went away when i remembered there were just avatars sitting there listening to me, and while i had a crappy little mic and no headset, i think i did okay. when i came back from my four month hiatus, grinders was gone. there was an empty plot where the club once stood, and to this day while the group still exists, there is no knowing if and when it will ever come back.

i sang very briefly once at a club to an audience of three, but i was too nervous and couldn't enjoy myself. it was a blip in my radar, not something to be repeated. a rare occurrence. some months later i sang one song to one person, but i didn't think that would happen again either.

now here i am wanting to sing for people, to share the songs i'm in love with and sharing them with my voice. it's very strange, and i don't know why i'm doing it, but i don't want to stop either.