new beginnings

with all the support of my friends so far, i have so many new beginnings now. new name, new home base, new company. i'm still hammering out the logistics, but i can officially say that dreamwalker radio debuted wednesday, may 30th at bouddicea. i've laid the ground work for my station, but i will need to find places to put posters, figure out how to generate ad revenue, and then look around other places and see how prices are set up so that i can charge potential employees and whatnot fairly.

of course, i'll also need people to create ads, and then figure out maybe google drive or something to hold the necessary files for employees and all that jazz. right now it's just me, but i have management in place for the group and as i go on i'll lean on experienced people for help getting dreamwalker radio off the ground.

it's kind of fun throwing myself into a new project, and with my shiny new stream life is starting to look up again. i've been at peace earning my keep at bouddicea and sha'halen, and of course divine sadism and hopefully soon the devil's angels too.

i still get anxious over my DJ abilities, but every linden reminds me that i must be doing something right, and hearing the feedback from new patrons makes me happy. when i spun at sha'halen on saturday, one of the new people there mentioned they liked how i spoke because i was laughing over how i had no idea what a song's name was for two years until someone finally requested me to play it, lol.

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i'm still pretty sad over parzival dumping me, but seeing his behavior has clued me in that i may have actually dodged a bullet with him. he claimed i spoke down to him in public, which i was completely unaware of, but twice now he has called men "cucks" in public chat, once in all seriousness and the second time as an alleged joke.

plus there's the whole fact he made an mgtow speech and accidentally posted it in the kardoloth group, as opposed to my inbox out of left field for no reason. i remember we'd been talking about nothing in particular, just shooting the breeze when he suddenly posted that speech "as a response to when women claim they want equality."

i had mental whiplash over that one, and now that i really think about it there were times when we seriously disagreed on things, like me being a bernie supporter and him not. i don't remember if the subject of trump ever came up, but i kind of wonder if he leaned in that direction.

i know viking/viktor and i had vehemently disagreed because he was a trumper and me a berner, but the final blowup that lead to me blocking him was a childish speech on how i was the bad guy for calling him out on being homophobic and promoting toxic masculinity, so i sent a vicious retort and kicked his ass out of my life forever.

parzival and i are very much not on speaking terms while i heal from the breakup, but more and more i find myself hating him. i think it's just one of those things where i'll be angry and hate for a while, but depending on behavior that usually goes away.

then again, his quirks that i used to like now drive me insane, and i completely resent him now. i think the root of that is the fact that after i stumbled across his new girlfriend four days after he dumped me, i found out he uses the same pet names for her that he did for me; which oddly enough are also the same pet names he used for his ex, phoebe.

meh, that's all behind me now. no point in dwelling on it, especially with my new name and new home. fuck that bastard with a rusty rake.