december

this month has been... hard.

it's only now december eighth at 1:56 am, but it feels like it's way later in the month. the last few weeks have drained me, both physically and emotionally. after i received some devastating news about a family member, i waited on pins and needles with my aunts and uncles and cousins to find out more information.

the updates that did come in didn't paint too bright of a future, and then the family member themselves posted the results of the tests.

terminal.

i ended up traveling a few hundred miles to see them for a few days, and only returned earlier this week. it feels like a year has past in just three weeks' time. we're already planning a third trip (my mother and brother visited without me on the first one), but i'm wondering if there's enough time.

the prognosis was short.

as a precaution i said my goodbyes before i left to return home, and we've all been sharing stories and memories. it feels like my immediate family members and i are all holding our collective breaths.

hospice has already stepped in, prepping my family member to make them as comfortable as possible. we know the time is coming, we just don't know when.

if they make it to christmas, it'll be the last one they see on this earth.