ponderings

this post is honestly some things i've been pondering lately. it's mostly a rhetorical entry, as i don't expect to get any answers to my questions.

for example: was it my screen name or legal name in the filings?
if it was my legal name, why?
i highly doubt i'd be subpoenaed, but if i am, would a written statement suffice? or would the judge laugh their ass off and toss it out?

why do so many people assume i'm in a relationship? why do people insist that i'm the one who destroyed something that was on the way to burning down in flames anyways?

why is it that my consent violation was believed until i finally lost my temper, and now i'm accused of lying? the burden of proof doesn't fall on me to prove i am telling the truth, it's on those who call me a liar. why are they believed then? they have no proof of my alleged lying, yet i have proof i was violated. why are people so eager to hang me out to dry?

why do people so readily believe that i'm the bad guy who stole someone away, when that is the furthest thing from the truth?

why do people believe i'm the "other woman" when i have never been sexual with the person in question? why do people believe i had an affair, when we've never done more than cuddle?

why are people so quick to vilify me, even though they are being openly lied to?

why is it you can call yourself my friend for years, then turn around and try saying i'm the evil monster who ruined everything?

why is it you only cared about me when i wasn't standing up for myself?

why is it you only cared when you could control me?

why is it now that i'm the one in the wrong, when there is documented proof that i did nothing more than cry out i had been violated?

why is the word "consent" being thrown at me, when two adults did consent to a collaring? because she didn't? why don't you ask her if she asked his consent before being collared to other people?

why am i being seen as the marriage ender, when i did no such thing?

why am i being smeared as "the other woman" "the mistress" and other such names? because you lost your cash cow?

why have none of you asked for his side of the story? why do you assume that you're being told the truth?

what would i possibly have to gain here by lying? i have said only the truth for years now. i even admitted that two years ago i was told an ex was lying and doing dastardly things, and that turned out to be the lie. that he was actually telling the truth, but he had been hung out to dry and painted as a demon out to hurt women, when it turned out he was a victim of manipulation. why am i being brought into question for pointing out a pattern of lies, deceit, and abuse?

why do you allow me to be the scapegoat in a situation that actually had nothing to do with me?

why have none of you asked for proof that i did anything at all? or would you argue that my post about the collaring is enough? because there was nothing more than sending an item as a gift, that he chose to put on. why is it assumed we were sexual?

why do you assume i'm in the wrong and attack me? what makes you better than me?

why do you believe her 100% with no proof, only the lies coming from her mouth?

what makes me the devil here? is it the fact that i exist? that i'm his friend she couldn't chase away?

and, quite frankly, most important of all: why do you care?